


It's Never Too Late

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Bars and Pubs, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Parents, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drinking, Drunk Phil, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Parent-Child Relationship, Phanfiction, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-25
Packaged: 2019-01-01 05:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12149154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: When Dan was young, he made a mistake. He wasn't ready to face the consequences, and a baby ended up being put up for adoption.Now Dan's older - more mature - and he's ready to meet the child he gave up so long ago... as long as the adoptive parents allow him to.





	1. Chapter 1

Dan bit his lip as his heart pounded in his chest, his mouse flickering over a phone number on his laptop screen. 

It's been five years since he gave up the opportunity for his entire life to change - to become a dad - to have a child. 

At the time he'd been young... he'd been immature, and he knew it'd been the right decision. He wouldn't have been able to care for it properly - especially since the girl had no intention of keeping it. They'd only had a short fling and broke up before she even knew she was carrying... it just wouldn't have been fair to the child to have tried to keep it. He'd been giving it it's best shot at a good life. 

Now, though, Dan was 25, out of university, had a steady job as a freelance writer, and couldn't help but feel that there was a part of his life that was unknown to him. That there was a part of his legacy that he knew nothing about, and for the past month he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it.

He knew he shouldn't try to pursue this. He knew it'd been a closed adoption and he had no legal rights to the child, but after weeks of restraining, he'd finally done some searches and come up with an address and a phone number. It just so happened that the address was only about a ten minute bus ride away, and that made Dan even more curious. 

He'd learned a few more things. The child was a boy... He'd known that because even though the mother didn't let him in the room as she gave birth, he insisted on being in the hospital to see his baby after the birth. It'd only been for a moment - they hadn't known the sex before the birth, but when Dan saw a small cart being rolled out with a baby in a blue blanket, he'd felt his throat tighten and his heart beat faster. That feeling and that image - the image of his son - still haunted him to this day. And now he had a name to put to that pudgy, soft face he'd caught just a glimpse of before the cart had been whisked away.

Spencer.

His son's name was Spencer. 

He didn't know who the parents were, but the moment he'd seen that name typed out across his screen he'd nearly started crying - he'd always loved that name, and it almost made him feel connected to his son... even though he knew he wasn't. 

He knew it was a bad idea.

He knew it was an awful idea and would probably only lead to hurt, heartbreak, and earth-shattering guilt, but Dan had always known that his willpower was near non-existent, and it was showing now. 

Taking a deep breath, Dan pulled out his phone and punched in the number. He hovered his thumb over the 'call' button for a few seconds before squeezing his eyes shut and pressing it, raising the phone to his ear. 

The phone seemed to ring for forever until a voicemail picked up. Dan sighed at first, but then picked up, listening close to the answering machine.

_"Hey you have reached the super ultra top secret voicemail of Phil! Sorry I can't talk to you right now, but you can leave a message here, or even stop in for a cup of tea! Chat soon! Oh... unless this is a telemarketer or something... then please don't leave a message or stop in for tea. I mean you could stop in for tea. I'd make you tea. I just wouldn't buy anything. Sorry um... I should probably finish this. Okay! Goodbye!"_

Dan couldn't help but quirk his eyebrow and smile faintly at the dorky voicemail. He laughed silently for a few moments before realizing that the machine had beeped and he was currently recording a message.

"Oh! Um... hi. My name is Dan. I uh... I kind of wanted to talk to you about something... somewhat personal. Sorry I know that sounds crazy since we don't know each other... but um... just call me back or text me if you might be willing to talk. Sorry oh my god this sounds so bad I promise it's not uh-" dropping his forehead into his hand in embarrassment at his clumsily thrown-together sentences, Dan took a deep breath and tried to put himself back together. "I swear I won't try to sell you anything." he decides to end with, a little laugh tacked on the end as a reference to Phil's voicemail. "Alright well... Hope to hear from you soon. Thanks. Bye."

Hanging up the phone, Dan dropped his head into his hands and realized that he was sweating. He was shaking too, and he got up from his desk to plop down on his bed, pulling the covers over himself. 

Over the next hour and a half he thought himself in and out of a million awful situations, mentally exhausting himself until he passed out. 

He woke up to the sound of a new notification on his phone, blinking confusedly at how dark it'd become. Picking up his phone, Dan winced at the brightness of the screen before his vision adjusted. When he saw a new text from an unknown number, Dan's eyes widened and he opened it quickly, taking a deep breath.

**_P: Wow, Dan. I'm impressed!! You managed to leave an even awkwarder (is that a word?) voicemail than I think I could have! Anyways, whatever it is you'd like to talk about, I'm a tad less awkward in person (maybe. Don't hold me to it.), so maybe we could meet for coffee? I know it's boring... but how does Starbucks sound? I have a kid but I work from home, so I'm free from about 9-3 every day._ **

Dan nearly chuckled aloud at the text, his heart soaring when he saw that Phil seemed to be willing to talk to him. Hurriedly typing, Dan did his best to use perfect punctuation in his message - he was a writer, not an editor, come on, guys.

**_D: Thank you so much! Well I promise you I'm even MORE awkward in person, if you could believe it. Starbucks is great! (Though I am judging you.) Alright, how about noon tomorrow?_ **

The response came only moments later, and Dan's stomach jumped when he clicked on it.

**_P: Noon it is! The Starbucks by that antique store on 3rd?_ **

**_D: I'll see you then. Thank you so much._ **

**_P: No problem! :D_ **

Dan sighed with relief at the conversation, falling back against his pillow. If nothing else, Phil seemed nice, and he was glad that was who was raising his son. 

He brushed his teeth and changed into pyjamas, setting an alarm as an afterthought. Obviously noon isn't too early, but his sleep schedule was off because of the nap, and Dan's sleep schedule was already fucked. He worked from home... why should he abide by the normal person's routine?

Falling asleep took a while, the excitement mixed with fear of his coffee meeting tomorrow keeping him awake, but at about three his lids were feeling heavier and he slipped into unconsciousness smoothly. 

Dan woke up to his alarm.

Of course he was enough of a flop to need to be woken by an alarm for a meeting at noon.

Grumbling, Dan pulled himself out of bed and put on a presentable outfit, buttoning up a nice shirt and straightening his hair about twenty times before finally hopping on a bus, checking to make sure he had his wallet three times before getting on the vehicle. 

Soon he was at the Starbucks and it was 11:50. He realized he had no idea what this 'Phil' guy looked like. Awkwardly, Dan decided to just buy a drink and hang out near the register so he could hear if they called Phil's name. 

He got himself a Caramel Macchiato and leaned against a counter, trying not to look too weird as he observed the people who came in.

A woman with a tight ponytail and glasses who was scrolling quickly through her phone, dressed in a pantsuit. 

An old couple arguing because the man kept telling the woman she had to order a 'tall' and she was arguing back that 'tall' wasn't a size. 

A group of teenagers talking about an annoying teacher and trying to decide whether they should skip the rest of school after lunch. 

A man with dark hair and bright blue eyes wearing a plaid shirt who was looking around himself, seemingly entranced by every little detail of everything around him.

A young hipster couple who were arguing over whether Starbucks was cool or basic nowadays....

The list went on and Dan was having a good amount of fun people watching until he heard something that made his ears prick up.

"What's the name for that, sir?" the barista asked, and Dan turned his head quickly when he heard the response,

"Phil." Dan looked to see the black haired and blue eyed man at the counter. 

Nearly immediately Dan was by his side, looking to the barista. "I've got it!" He offered, handing her a five, and both Phil and the barista looked at him in apologetic confusion. 

"Uh sir... he's already paid..." she apologized and Dan reddened as he awkwardly pulled his hand back with the money. 

"Oh uh... well here you go. I was planning on getting your drink since you agreed to get coffee with me." Dan said clumsily, thrusting the five at Phil who didn't seem to want to take it, but eventually did to spare Dan any more embarrassment, which the brunette was incredibly grateful for. They stepped out of line and Dan realized he was surprised. He'd expected whoever had adopted Spencer to be older... Phil couldn't be more than a few years older than him. 

"So... I'm guessing you're Dan?" Phil asked, and Dan nodded with a small laugh. "So you were right. You  _are_ more awkward in person!" Phil's mouth quirked up at the side in a little smirk and Dan reddened.

"Hey! I'm a writer... we don't exactly socialize often." Dan defended meekly, and Phil raised his eyebrows.

"Really? I'm an editor! I totally understand - if it weren't for my son I'd never go outside."

"PHIL?" the barista called and Phil got his drink, coming back and walking to a table where the two men settled down. 

"So uh... Dan. What personal conversation do you need to have with a stranger?" Phil asked and Dan blushed again, hitting himself mentally for not having planned how to say this ahead of time.

"Uh... actually I suppose it's about your son."

"Oh, really? You know Spencer?" Phil asked as he raised his eyebrows. "I hope it's nothing bad."

"No! No... nothing bad. I hope at least. Um... look this is going to sound insane and if you want to just tell me to fuck off then go right ahead but... um..." Dan took a deep breath, deciding to just get it out in the open. "I'm his biological dad and I've been going crazy for a long time feeling awful not trying to reach out but then feeling bad about the idea of reaching out and I just didn't know what to do so I found you online and I wanted to just talk to you and see what you think because I'm really scared but I can't just ignore it anymore because it's driving me insane and I know I have no right to see him and if you don't want me to I'll respect that but I wanted to at least talk to you because-" 

"Wait wait wait wait." Phil interrupted, and Dan took a deep breath, realizing he'd been talking a mile a minute. 

"Sorry." he breathed, and Phil looked at him skeptically.

"It's alright." Phil said slowly, and Dan felt like he was going to die under Phil's unreadable gaze, suddenly becoming incredibly interested in his clasped hands so he didn't have to meet Phil's gaze. "So you're his father..." Phil spoke slowly after a while, and Dan tensed.

"Yeah... yeah I am."

"Where's his mother?"

"I don't know. I haven't talked to her in years."

"And you... what? Want to meet him?" Phil asked, and Dan let out a long shaky sigh, allowing his shoulders to collapse in as he put his head in his hands. 

"I don't know. I have no idea, I just... I had to do something. I don't know if it'd even be good for him to meet me... but you know him. I don't. If you don't think I should meet him I can leave and it'll be like nothing ever happened... I promise I won't keep trying if you don't want me to. But I just... I had to at least talk to you."

"Right." Phil agreed quietly, and Dan looked up warily at the stormy blue eyes contemplating him.

"Are you angry?" he asked shakily, and Phil shook his head, his eyebrows pulled together in thought.

"No... I suppose I'm just surprised."

"I don't blame you." Dan agreed. 

Several moments of silence passed, and soon Dan had to break it.

"So what's your wife like?"

"My wife?" Phil asked, his eyes widening.

"Yeah. Spencer's mum?"

"Oh. Uh... he doesn't have one. I adopted him as a single parent. I'm uh... I'm gay anyways."

"Oh." Dan agreed, deciding he had no right to any thoughts on whether it was a good idea to adopt as a single parent - or to raise a child knowing they had no mother's influence - because he didn't know Phil, he didn't know Spencer, and he had no right to any judgement. "Uh... that's cool. I'm pan." Dan cringed the moment the words escaped his mouth, having no idea why he'd thought that was important to share, but it didn't seem to phase Phil who just hummed a response and nodded thoughtfully. 

"I'm sorry Dan... I know it must have taken a lot of courage to reach out to me and to come talk to me... and thank you... for being so respectful. I just... it's a lot to take in. Do you think I can have some time to decide?" Phil asked after a few seconds, and Dan nodded immediately.

"Of course! Of course, thank you so much. That's all I could ask for. Just... keep me up to date?" Dan asked, and Phil nodded.

"I will. Thank you, Dan."

Dan smiled and soon they were walking out and going their separate ways. It hadn't been easy... but it'd gone much better than it could have, and Dan felt relieved even though there was a part of him that was terrified of what Phil might say. He was almost more scared of the possibility of Phil deciding he should meet Spencer... he knew nothing about kids... what if it was awful? 

When he got home, Dan tried to distract himself with writing. When that didn't work he turned to video games. Then to movies. Then to just staring at his ceiling, accepting his fate and overthinking everything. It wasn't until 11pm that his phone began to ring and he picked it up in record time.

"Hello?" 

"Hey Dan... this is Phil." Phil was whispering, and immediately Dan began to whisper too, though he had no idea why.

"Oh hi. What's up?" Dan asked, mentally slapping himself for such a dumb question.

"Spencer just finally went to bed... sorry I meant to call you earlier but he took ages to get to fall asleep, and I didn't want to do this when he was awake. Um... I think that if you want... you should meet him." Dan's heart jumped into his throat and began beating twice as fast as his stomach dropped. "I don't want to tell him who you are right away, though... for now you'll just be my friend... alright?"

"Okay." Dan agreed, his voice coming out rough with the tears he was holding back. "Alright. Thank you so much."

"Thank  _you_ for reaching out to me. I think this could be a really good thing. How does this Saturday sound?" Phil asked, and Dan mentally screamed because Saturday was two whole days away, but he knew it would be better to do a weekend for Spencer, so he took a deep breath. 

"Saturday sounds great. Thank you, Phil."

"You're welcome. Night, Dan."

"Goodnight."

They hung up and soon Dan was in bed, trying to fall asleep, but he couldn't stop thinking, and soon he was crying. He wasn't sure if they were happy tears or sad, but his toes were wriggling with energy and his heart was beating fast in anticipation. He was overwhelmed, but he was excited.

In just two days, he was going to meet Spencer.

He was going to meet his son.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan felt like he couldn't breathe. 

He'd spent the past two days reading books about kids, watching kid shows, and he even went out and bought the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - his favorite from when he was little. 

Now the time had come, though, and he was standing outside of Phil and Spencers' house, waiting after his knock. 

A few moments later the door opened, and Dan heaved a sigh of relief when only Phil stood in front of him. 

"Hey." Dan greeted, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.

"Hey. Thanks for coming. Spencer's in the living room... you ready to meet him?"

"Yeah." Dan breathed, nodding his head quickly as if to convince himself. Phil cocked an eyebrow at him and Dan met the black haired man's eyes, crumpling beneath their gaze. "...No." he admitted with a helpless breathy laugh and Phil nodded, a sympathetic smile covering his features. 

"I get it. I think you'll get along though, he's a really easy kid. I just told him you're a friend that I met at a coffee shop and you're coming over to hang out for a bit today. He doesn't know anything else."

"Okay." Dan nodded, trying to let this information soothe him. "Um... what's he like?" he whispered, still standing outside of the door and Phil smiled.

"He's wonderful. He's calm usually but also gets really excited about things, he loves to draw and he wants to be in movies when he gets older. He's going into first grade next year, and he can't wait to be in a school play. He's also in a dance class, and he loves dancing around the house. He... he doesn't have many friends... it's something that can be hard for him, but I'm doing my best to help him and overall I think he's a really happy kid." Phil finished with a warm smile and Dan found his face reflecting the same expression, happy beyond words that his son seemed creative and inspired and  _happy._

"Alright..." Dan said with a sigh, shaking off his nerves to the best of his ability. "Let's do this."

Phil turned and began walking into the house and Dan took the moment when Phil's back was turned to close his eyes for a second and squeezed them shut, then slipped off his shoes and followed Phil in, shutting the door behind him. 

When Dan got partway through the hallway he noticed that Phil had stopped. He walked up to the man who was looking to him in concern and raised his eyebrows.

"Are you sure you're ready for this, Dan?" Phil asked, and Dan was overcome with gratitude for the genuine concern in Phil's bright blue eyes.

"No. But yes." Dan answered, and Phil's lips twitched into a sympathetic smile before he reached out and squeezed Dan's hand gently, letting it go after a moment. 

"Thanks." Dan whispered, and Phil nodded. 

"Well... he's right through that door." Phil nodded towards an opening in the wall and Dan nodded, drawing in a deep breath. 

"Let's do this."

Phil walked into the room and Dan followed, but the minute he looked up and into the room his breath caught in his throat and he stopped in his tracks. 

He knew right then and there that nothing he could have done could have prepared him for this moment. 

A young brown haired boy - Spencer - was sat on the ground hunched over a sketchbook with colored pencils littering the floor around him. When the two men walked in he looked up at them, and Dan felt a stutter in his heart. 

Not only was this his son - not only was he  _meeting his son_ \- but Spencer looked  _exactly_ as Dan had at that age. 

At first it threw Dan off that the boy was so large - he supposed he'd still been expecting an infant for some reason - but once he got over the fact that this was a small human in front of him, Dan couldn't help but notice that the boy looked exactly like all the childhood photos he had of himself - save one detail. His eyes were a light emerald green, and he had scattered freckles dotted across his nose and underneath his eyes. Apart from that, he looked exactly like Dan, and a lump formed in the man's throat. 

"Spencer, this is the friend I was telling you about... Dan." Phil introduced, looking at Dan carefully. Dan coughed and shook himself out of his stupor, smiling cautiously at the boy on the ground. 

"Hi, Spencer. It's nice to meet you." 

The young boy looked down nervously with a smile and nodded a greeting - clearly nervous around new people. 

"Come on, Spencer, what do you say to new people?" Phil asked gently, crouching down beside the young boy's side who looked up at him with wide, trusting eyes, then nodded, looking back to Dan shyly. 

"Hello Dan, it's nice to meet you." Spencer said quietly, and Phil nodded, rubbing the boy's back. 

"Good job." he praised, and looked back to Dan who was doing his best to look normal as his heart raced at hearing the boy's high pitched young voice ring out clear through the room. 

The task of looking 'normal' got even harder when Dan watched Spencer look back down at his drawing and smile shyly at Phil's encouragement, dimples popping in his cheeks. At this, Dan was completely overwhelmed, and he began to stutter. 

"Uh um... Phil... I uh... could I get some water maybe?" he stammered out and Phil looked up gently, nodding and leading Dan into the kitchen. 

"Are you okay?" Phil asked the moment they were out of earshot, and Dan leaned against the kitchen counter to steady himself. 

"Yeah... yeah it's just..."

"He looks like you." Phil finished and Dan gulped, nodding. "Yeah, honestly I don't know how I didn't guess that was why you'd asked me to coffee the minute I saw you. You two really resemble each other."

"Yeah." Dan breathed, looking down, feeling almost ashamed. 

"Speaking of coffee, I think I'm going to make myself some. Do you want a cup?" Phil asked and Dan nodded gratefully. Soon both men were sipping hot and sweet coffee as they leaned against the kitchen counters. "Are you ready to go back in there?" Phil asked after a moment, and Dan nodded, gathering his courage. 

When they returned Phil sat on the couch behind Spencer and Dan awkwardly followed, sitting on the other side of the couch. He looked down and his eyebrows raised - for a five year old, Spencer was drawing a pretty impressive photo of a colorful butterfly. It was still clear that a child had drawn it, but it was good and Dan was impressed. 

"So Spence, are you excited for dance tomorrow?" Phil asked in the soft tone Dan was coming to realize he always used towards Spencer, and the boy looked up and nodded quickly, a huge smile across his features. "Do you want to show Dan your dance?" Spencer seemed to think for a moment and then looked at Dan and then away shyly, shaking his head.

"That's alright. Maybe some other time?" Dan ventured to ask and Spencer met his gaze nervously, then nodded. "What kind of dance do you do, Spencer?" Dan asked, and the boy looked up, excitement fresh in his eyes again.

"Ballet!" the boy chirped. "I wanna do all kinds of dances, though. But right now I'm doing ballet and we're working on our Aerobesques!" Spencer grinned and Dan smiled back, having no idea what that meant, but trying to be supportive anyhow.

"That sounds exciting!" he enthused and Spencer nodded quickly. 

"It is! My teacher, Mrs. Claudia, says that I make really good lines! We're having a recital in two weeks and I'm getting to learn all of these cool new things and we're gonna be on a stage! I'm a little scared but I'm more excited and I just hope we're good!" Spencer rattled out and Dan giggled at the boy's excitement, nodding along. 

"You should come to the recital!" Phil enthused, and Dan looked over, eyes wide.

"Really?" he asked, surprised. He thought this was all a trial run - he hadn't expected to already be invited to other events where he'd see Spencer. He hadn't even been sure if Phil would ever let him see the boy again after today, so this caught him completely off guard.

"Of course!" Phil smiled softly, and Dan looked back and then slowly nodded.

"Alright, then. I'll be there." Dan agreed, and silence stretched out for a few moments. "Oh!" he remembered, reaching into his bag. "I brought you something, Spencer!" the boy's eyes lit up in excitement and Dan handed him the DVD of Willy Wonka, smiling as Spencer took it excitedly. 

Dan looked over to Phil and was surprised when the black haired man was already looking at him, a contemplative but happy and thoughtful smile on his face as he examined Dan's features. 

"Thank you." Phil said eventually. "Do you want to watch it right now, Spence?" 

"Can we, Papa?" Spencer asked excitedly and Phil nodded. 

Soon the three had popcorn and Spencer sat on the other side of Phil as they all settled into the couch, turning on the movie. 

The day went on beyond there, and soon they were ordering a pizza and eating dinner together. Dan found that Spencer was easier to talk to than he'd expected - the boy warmed up to him quickly and he realized that since Phil was obviously so close to him, Spencer was more comfortable talking to adults than most kids were. Phil treated him like a person instead of as a child, and this made it so Spencer could carry a conversation, and they all enthused over dance and art and movies as they ate. 

Soon Spencer was getting tired and Phil invited Dan to come with to read him his bed time story. Dan looked to Spencer and asked if he was sure he'd want Dan to read to him too, and his heart warmed as Spencer nodded excitedly. 

Dan and Phil read Spencer an old Dr. Seuss book, alternating stanzas as they read and doing different funny voices. Eventually Dan looked up to see the young boy breathing softly, asleep in his bed, and the two men got up quietly and turned off the light, closing the door all but a crack and walking back to the living room. 

Dan looked back at Phil and smiled at the tired but smiling man with the evening light casting shadows across his angular face. 

"Thank you so much for letting me come over, Phil. Thank you just... for everything. He's really a wonderful kid - you've done such an amazing job with him... thank you so much for letting me meet him."

"Of course, Dan." Phil smiled warmly. "It was really nice having you here today. If you'd like... of course you have your own life and if you've gotten what you were looking for from today then we can just leave it at that, but... if you want to do this again, I would love to have you over another time." Phil offered, and Dan's heart jumped a bit in his chest. 

"I'd love that." he responded, and when Phil pulled him into a hug he felt warm and he smiled into the black haired man's shoulder. 

"Goodnight." Phil whispered as they pulled away, and Dan gave him a small smile. 

"Night." he answered, and then he was on the bus back home and in his bed, unable to wipe the grin from his face at the utter success of his first meeting with his son and the father who seemed willing to let him get to know the young boy.


	3. Chapter 3

It'd been a week, and Dan had seen Spencer three more times.

Once the day after they met, when Phil was taking Spencer to the park and invited Dan along.

Dan said yes, of course.

Dan had brought coffee for he and Phil and steamed milk for Spencer, and the two men had rocked slowly back and forth on the swings as they watched the young boy bound around on the play structures.

There weren't many other kids at the park and the young boy didn't seem interested in talking to the ones that were there. Dan thought that this was perfectly fine, but Phil seemed a bit dismayed by it, and Dan talked to Phil, suggesting the idea that it was okay for Spencer to prefer to be alone - he seemed happy, and that was what mattered, right?

Phil had smiled and thanked Dan, and Dan had smiled back before turning around to face Spencer and watch him slide down the fireman pole, spinning around it and landing with his feet in what he called 'second position' as he hit the ground. 

Spencer had asked Dan to carry him back to the car to drive back to Phil's. 

Phil had grinned at Dan, who looked up in shock, then back down to Spencer.

Dan said yes, of course.

* * *

 

The next day Dan saw Spencer was on a Tuesday when the boy ripped his leotard and had to go get a new one. Phil had been farther away from the dance studio so he had texted Dan to see if he could go pick Spencer up and meet Phil, and they'd take him together to get a new leotard. 

Dan said yes, of course.

He had to show the dance instructor the messages from Phil, but once she was convinced that he wasn't trying to kidnap one of her students, Dan was walking to the bus stop with Spencer, and though he thought he'd be nervous to be alone with the young boy, it was surprisingly easy. 

Spencer giggled as Dan pulled coins out from behind his ears, and they even stopped on their walk from the bus stop to Phil's and got banana bread from a coffee shop for the three of them. 

Spencer called him Danny, and couldn't stop skipping around and smiling as he told Dan about everything that happened that day.

Dan couldn't keep the grin off his face.

They'd met with Phil and Spencer had shouted "Papa!" before jumping into his dad's arms. Dan smiled, grateful that neither he nor Phil seemed threatened by the other. He had been worried about that, but it clearly wasn't the case.

Spencer had told Phil about Dan's magic powers with the coin. 

Phil had smiled warmly at Dan, making the brunette blush in a strange mixture of embarrassment and pride. 

They'd gone to the mall and Spencer had held both their hands. Phil had looked to Dan and they'd agreed silently before lifting and swinging Spencer between them as they walked, making the boy squeal in excitement. 

They'd found the perfect leotard, and Dan had waved Phil off each time he protested as Dan handed the cashier his card. 

They'd gone back and Phil had refused to let Dan leave without eating dinner with them first. 

Spencer had begged Dan to stay as well.

Dan said yes, of course.

After dinner Spencer was heading to bed and he managed to convince Dan to read him a bedtime story. Phil had joined, but he hadn't read, just watched as Dan spoke the words of the book softly until Spencer was sound asleep. 

They'd tiptoed out of the room and Phil had surprised Dan with a hug. 

He'd told Dan how nice it was to have someone around to help with things. 

He'd said he knew it hadn't been long, but even just the past few days had felt so different, and he wanted to thank Dan.

He'd asked if Dan still wanted to come around - if he'd been out of line to invite Dan out so much with them, or if Dan really did want to spend time with them. He'd asked if he could keep calling on Dan when things came up, and if the brunette wanted to be invited to spend time with them.

Dan said yes, of course.

* * *

 

The third time Dan saw his son was on Thursday. Spencer got sick at school and Phil was at a dentist's appointment. He texted Dan, and minutes later Dan was at the school.

Dan talked to the principal and showed her the messages from Phil.

They decided to put Dan's name down on 'emergency contacts' so they wouldn't have to go through this again if he picked Spencer up.

He'd paid for a taxi to take them back to Phil's - not wanting to make a sick young boy ride a crowded bus. 

Phil had messaged him where the hidden key was, and Dan had let them in. 

He'd tucked Spencer into bed and made him soup and tea. 

He hoped that Phil wouldn't mind that he was using his kitchen.

He was sure he wouldn't.

Dan read to Spencer, and he was out before four. Dan stayed in the room... just in case. 

Phil returned a half an hour later.

He'd told Dan that he could leave if he wanted.

Dan had asked if he could stay... just in case something came up and he was needed.

Neither of the men could think of what situation would warrant that, but Phil had just nodded and thanked Dan. 

They'd made their way to the living room, making sure the door was open so they could hear Spencer if he needed them.

They'd talked about parenting. 

Dan had told Phil about Spencer's mum. 

Phil had listened.

Phil said he understood why Dan had given Spencer up.

Dan was grateful.

Phil had told Dan about what it'd been like raising Spencer.

He'd told him horror stories of dirty diapers and screams on trains. 

Dan had laughed. 

He'd told him of the times when it'd been hard, being a single parent. Jobs he'd lost and opportunities he'd passed up, because he was the only one on call if something went wrong. He explained how he'd gotten into editing - both for videos and novels. 

Dan had been nervous, but he'd spoken up, offering to be that person - a person for Phil to lean on, someone to be on call for Spencer, someone to take some of the weight off Phil's shoulders.

Phil had cried.

Dan had cried.

Phil had asked him a thousand times over if he was sure.

Dan said yes, of course.

* * *

 

Today was Saturday. 

Today Dan was sitting in the living room with Phil and Spencer, enjoying a lazy day eating grilled cheese sandwiches and drawing colorful pictures of fluffy animals. 

Today Spencer was feeling better, though Dan made sure to make him tea. 

Today Phil couldn't seem to stop smiling.

Today Dan watched as Spencer leaned over to Phil and tapped his shoulder, whispering, "Papa?" 

Today Dan watched as Phil looked over to his son, whispering back, "yes?"

Today Spencer looked back to Dan and then leaned in even closer to Phil, whispering his question secretively, though Dan could still hear. "Is Dan gonna be a part of our family now?"

Today Dan's heart leaped into his throat as Phil looked over and met his wide-eyed stare. 

Today that same lump in his throat nearly choked out a loud sob as he watched Phil's eyes calm from their wide shock to warm slits as the smiled, addressing Spencer but still looking at Dan. 

"If he wants to... then I think so."

Dan said yes, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of love doing these random chapters written in totally different styles from the rest of the fic. What do you all think? :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is so damn domestic and I'm loving writing it :D

"So... why exactly did you decide to adopt?" Dan finally asked one day. 

It'd been a month since he'd met Phil and Spencer, and now he saw them nearly every day. He had a key to Phil's house now, and it wasn't uncommon for him to spend the night on the couch in the lounge at Phil's house. 

He and Spencer were getting closer, too, and Dan absolutely adored the kid. He was so full of energy, but he also was extremely sweet and seemed to have an ability to know how people were feeling before even they did. 

Now Spencer was at school. Dan had spent the night at their house, and now he and Phil were sipping coffee in the dining room as they slowly woke up.

"Well..." Phil started, chuckling softly. "Actually I was never planning on it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. My old friend from school needed a ride to an adoption agency so I went with her to meet some kids and fill out paperwork for her and her girlfriend. While we were there I met Spencer - his name was Edmund back then - and I just... I guess I sort of just fell in love." 

Dan smiled, giggling softly. 

"Thank you for changing the name. Imagine growing up as an Edmund - people would constantly be thinking of Narnia!" 

"Exactly!" Phil agreed, eyes wide. "Anyways. I sort of just fell in love with Spencer, and tried to stop thinking about it, but two days later I was back and the process started there. I had no idea what I was doing to be honest - I still don't know if I do - but I try my best... sometimes I worry that he's never gonna be able to make friends, but I'm trying not to push him."

"Yeah..." Dan agreed, nodding slowly. "I think he will. I don't think it's that other kids don't like him... I think that he just is picky." Phil nodded downwards glumly, and Dan reached out to grab his forearm lightly, bringing Phil's attention back to him. "Hey - that's a good thing. When he does make a friend it'll be someone  _he_ chose. It's good to be picky with friends... hopefully it means he'll have really close friendships."

"I suppose..." Phil agreed with a sigh. 

"Thank you by the way." Dan added after a few moments, and Phil looked up with an eyebrow raised.

"For what?"

"For adopting Spencer. I don't know what I would have done if he'd been adopted by some maniac or something. I just... I guess I never thought I could actually get to be a part of his life, and thank you for letting that happen."

"Aww, Danny are you getting all sentimental?" Phil asked with a grin, and Dan shoved his arm lightly, rolling his eyes and trying to act like there weren't tears forming there.

"Shut up."

"Well..." Phil's giggles trailed off. "Thank you too. For reaching out. I've been pretty lost in parenting - feeling like I'm just flying along by the seat of my trousers until you contacted me. The past month has been so much easier... and I can tell Spencer's a lot happier." 

Dan smiled, taking a long drink of coffee. "Yeah, now you actually have time for other things in life. Have you done much the past five years other than parenting and working when you can?" 

"No." Phil laughed honestly, shaking his head. "I don't think I've had a night out in years. I haven't drank in years either, unless you count a wine with dinner every now and again. Hell, I haven't even been on a date since I became a dad."

"Well... if you ever need a night off, I can always watch Spencer."

Phil just laughed at this and shook his head, murmuring a small, "Yeah... right."

"What?" Dan asked, and Phil looked up to meet his confused gaze.

"Well I mean... I don't really have any friends, Dan. I wouldn't want to go out and do anything alone, and you're my only friend. So there's really no point in me going out without you."

"Oh." Dan thought aloud, nodding his head understandingly. "Well, if you ever want to hire a babysitter for the night, then we can go get sloshed." 

Phil looked up with his eyebrows raised, and the two men made eye contact before breaking down into laughter. 

"You know what... I'll keep it in mind." Phil giggled. "Though I can't imagine you drunk."

"On second thought... maybe  _you'll_ just get sloshed. Drunk Dan is not something you need to see." Dan laughed, and Phil widened his eyes seriously.

"Oh hell no. If I'm getting drunk, then so are you."

"Fineeeee." Dan conceded, shaking his head fondly at the black haired man. "But just be prepared for me to keep asking for hugs and telling you how much I love you."

"I think I can handle that." Phil grinned back, and Dan laughed a little, sighing at himself. 

Eventually the two men got ready for the day and went out grocery shopping together - deciding to get things to make a stir fry and cookies that night, Dan would cook and Phil would bake. Dan paid for the groceries since Phil had the time before, and they went back to the house. Dan put things in the fridge while Phil unloaded groceries into the pantry, and soon they were hopping in Phil's car to drive and pick Spencer up. 

Spencer was sitting on a bench by a bush that he was always at when they picked him up, and when he saw the car he came over and got in the back. 

"How was school?" Dan asked, turning backwards in the passenger seat to look at Spencer as Phil drove. 

"It was alright. I got to draw which was fun, but then we had to cut out pieces of paper and I accidentally cut my finger." he held up his index finger to show a bright spiderman bandaid, and Dan reached his hand out. Spencer put his wrist in Dan's hand, and Dan lifted his finger to his lips, kissing the bandaid. 

"There we go! All better!" he said with a smile, and Spencer grinned too. Dan turned back around and caught Phil with a small smile on his face as he watched the road.

"What?" Dan asked incredulously, grinning because he was honestly proud of the bond he had with Spencer. 

"Nothing."

"Suuuuure."

"It's nothing!" Phil insisted, eyes wide, but his lips were still quirked up in a smile.

"What?" Dan demanded with a giggle, and Phil sighed.

"You two are just cute, that's all." Phil said warmly, and Dan grinned, leaning back against his seat.

"See? Was that so hard?" he asked with a laugh, and Phil rolled his eyes as he kept them trained on the road, not looking over towards Dan. 

They made it back to the house and Dan began chopping and frying ingredients as Phil let Spencer help him roll cookie dough into balls and put them on a sheet to go in the oven. 

"SHI.......Take mushroom." Dan barely caught himself, wincing and shaking his hand aggressively to get the hot oil off his finger from where it'd splashed up and burned him.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked, concerned, and Dan sighed, shaking his head as the pain subsided.

"Oh, nothing. Just burned my finger. See? It's not so bad." He raised his finger to show Spencer, and the boy frowned. He got off his step stool to walk over to Dan, taking his hand in Spencer's own, and pressing his mouth lightly to the burn. 

"There! Better! Papa, you do it too! Make it better!" Spencer insisted. 

Dan looked up and met Phil's gaze and shrugged with a helpless smile and sigh that said ' _we should probably just humor him_ '. 

Phil returned the expression and took Dan's hand in his, grazing his lips against the pad of Dan's finger. 

"There." he said with a smile, looking to Spencer and letting go of Dan's hand. "It's all better now, right Dan?" he asked, looking back to Dan who nodded, smiling at Spencer. 

"Don't worry, Spence, I feel great now."

The young boy seemed pleased with this and nodded, returning to his stool and continuing to roll the cookie dough into balls. 

The group of them cooked silently for a while, but Dan's ears pricked up as he heard whispering, turning his head to see Spencer whispering something in Phil's ear. He looked away again, but kept listening to see what the young boy was saying. 

"Papa?" Spencer asked in a scratchy hiss and Dan almost giggled, making a mental note to teach the kid how to whisper quietly some day. 

"Yeah?" Phil whispered back, clearly loud enough for Dan to hear, but Spencer must not have realized that.

"When are you and Dan getting married?" the young voice asked innocently, and Dan's eyes widened. He continued to stir the meal, not wanting to show that he'd heard, but continuing to listen to see how Phil dealt with this one.

"Oh um... well Spencer... see it's not like that with me and Dan." Phil answered carefully, and Dan almost laughed at the ridiculousness that parenting sometimes brought, Phil clearly knowing Dan could hear the little lesson he was about to embark on with Spencer, but still humoring his son by fake-whispering. 

"What do you mean?" The young boy asked.

"Well... see, Dan and I are just friends."

"You don't love each other?" Spencer asked sadly, and Phil was quick to respond.

"Oh no.... no, Dan and I... I mean... I love him." Phil responded, and Dan smiled down at his stir fry, hearing the small smile in Phil's voice. "But not like that. We're just friends, and he's part of the family but we don't love each other the way that people who get married love each other."

"Oh..." Spencer took this in, still seeming confused. "Are you sure?"

Dan heard Phil let out a small breathy laugh before responding. "Yeah... yeah, I'm sure."

"Well..." Spencer's whisper became even more intense and Dan snuck a peek out of his peripherals to see that the young boy had put his hand up to cover his mouth over Phil's ear. "I think you're wrong. I think he wants to marry you."

Dan nearly choked on nothing at this, and perked his ears, curious at the long silence that followed. 

"Well..." Phil finally spoke softly, a tone of finality to the conversation in his voice. "I suppose we'll just have to wait and see."

Dan smiled at this, proud of Phil for finding a way to wrap the conversation up. Now being allowed to, Dan turned around and began plating their dinners, smiling over at Phil and Spencer. He made eye contact with Phil and nearly laughed at the resigned smile that said ' _Don't even start with me right now, you're dealing with the next hard question._ ', and handed the plates to them. They put in the cookies and set the timer, then went to the dining room and sat down. 

The meal passed quickly and when the timer went off, Dan got up to check on it and Spencer asked if he could come with. Dan whisked him out of his chair and picked him up, carrying him to the kitchen. When they got the cookies out and deemed them done, Dan showed Spencer how to put them on the cooling rack and promised him that it'd be worth it to wait for them to cool - making sure the young boy knew if he ate one right now he'd burn himself. 

Spencer nodded, and when Dan was about to go back to the dining room he felt a small tug at his sleeve. He turned around and saw Spencer gesture for him to lean down. He did and the young boy put his hand up to Dan's ear, still whispering loudly, but now a room away from Phil so Dan knew the black haired man wouldn't hear. 

"Don't worry, Dan." Spencer whispered. "He wants to marry you too. He just doesn't wanna say it yet."

Dan's eyes went wide as he leaned back, looking down at the sincere wide-eyed boy. 

"Okay." was all he could think to say before returning to the dining room, sitting across from Phil, who greeted him with a friendly kick under the table and a grateful and gentle smile for showing Spencer how to take out the cookies. 

Dan smiled back, but now he was self conscious and snuck a glance over at Spencer who was looking between the two of them with a huge, knowing smile on his face, his green eyes sparkling.


	5. Chapter 5

"She's in!" Dan announced excitedly, holding up his phone to show Phil the text conversation. 

Phil bit his lip as he looked at the screen, clearly wary of the idea. "Are you  _sure_ she'll be okay with him? What if something goes wrong? What if she doesn't pay attention or falls asleep or-"

"It'll be fine, Phil. She has great reviews. She knows what she's doing. Alright?" Dan reached forward and lightly tilted the black haired man's face upwards, forcing him to make eye contact with Dan. 

After a few seconds Phil sighed, conceding. "Alright. You're right, it'll be fine. It's just one night."

"Exactly! It's just one night. You deserve a night out, so try not to worry." Dan requested and Phil nodded.

The two men got ready, and soon the babysitter was showing up. She had a bubbly personality and had brought coloring books and a few games with her. Immediately she was talking to Spencer who seemed to like her off the bat, and Dan smiled over the two of them at Phil, mouthing, 'See?'. Phil rolled his eyes as if to say,  _'yeah, yeah, you were right.'_  

They talked to the babysitter - her name was Emma - and then they were leaving, taking a taxi out to a restaurant that was just a block down from a bar and lounge. Neither of them were very big partiers, but it'd been years for Phil, and they'd agreed that they may as well go for it and try to have a good night.

Getting out of the taxi, Dan smiled at the clearly nervous father who was tugging anxiously at the cuffs of his button down shirt. 

"It's gonna be alright, okay? Emma's got it under control - Spencer will be fine." 

"Yeah." Phil mumbled back, and Dan sighed as he put a hand between Phil's shoulder blades in support and understanding comfort, helping lead him into the restaurant. 

"Two for Howell?" Dan asked the hostess who quickly found their reservation and led them to a booth, handing them their menus and departing. 

It wasn't the fanciest restaurant, but it was nice and Dan looked around himself, smiling at the warm scent of good food. 

"How have you been, Phil?" Dan asked as he looked over the menu. He'd been spending nearly all his time lately with the man and his son, but he figured it was polite to ask anyways.

"Good. Spencer's doing great - as you know. Did you know he told me the other day that he might get moved to a more advanced dance class? Apparently his teachers sees some real potential in him." Dan laughed warmly at this, shaking his head fondly at the man across from him.

"I know - and that's great, but Phil - how are  _you?_ " Dan asked, and Phil's eyebrows pulled together.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I asked you how you are and you told me how Spencer is. How are  _you_ , Phil?"

"Oh... yeah... I guess I do that, don't I? I suppose he's such a big part of my life... there just isn't much space for me to have much of my own things going on."

"Yeah, you mentioned that you haven't dated since you adopted him?"

"Yeah." Phil laughed at himself, shaking his head. "Hopeless, right?"

"Not at all! In fact, I think we found ourselves a goal for the night! Lester, I'm gonna matchmake you!"

"Dan-" Phil began to protest, but Dan cut him off.

"No! No arguing! I'm going to find you someone you like, and by the end you'll have gotten a kiss. Or at  _least_ a phone number."

Phil rolled his eyes, but Dan widened his own, giving Phil a disapproving stare until the older man finally sighed in agreement. 

"Fine." Phil mumbled and Dan grinned.

The waitress came and they ordered their food as well as a glass of wine each. Dan wasn't looking around for anyone yet - he'd do that at the bar. For now, it was time to learn who he was looking for.

"Alright, so you're into guys, right?"

"Right."

"So what's your type?"

"Um.... I don't know."

"Come on, Phil, you've gotta give me  _something_ to work with! How else am I gonna be a killer wingman?" 

Phil chuckled, shaking his head. "Uh... I suppose I like guys who are confident, but aren't  _too_ into themselves. Someone I can talk to easily. Um... I guess I prefer if I don't tower over them." 

Dan laughed at this, nodding in agreement because he can understand the downfalls of being a giant who towers over everyone, though he doesn't mind having to lean down a bit.

"Alright... what about looks?"

"I dunno. I'm not too picky - it's more about personality to me. But I suppose... I'm not a huge fan of beards. And not someone who's too fit... that just makes me feel inferior. Um... I guess I like guys with brown hair usually... but really I don't have a huge preference."

"Okay..." Dan agreed, mulling this over. "I think we can find you someone." He decided, and Phil rolled his eyes.

"Good luck."

"Thank you!" Dan grinned, deciding to ignore Phil's clear sarcasm. 

Their food came and they devoured it hungrily. Dan paid the check despite Phil's protests, and soon they were walking over to the bar. When they entered it seemed pretty calm, but Dan could hear music from farther back. He knew that this bar was a lounge out front but had a room in the back that was more of a dance club - not too overwhelming like most clubs were, but somewhere to listen to music and dance in low light. He didn't think they'd end up in there... but maybe he'd shove Phil along if he found a guy for his friend to dance with. 

They started at the bar, walking up and each ordering a drink, sipping them slowly as they surveyed the people milling about. 

"How about him?" Dan asked, gesturing with his drink towards a guy who clearly wasn't interested in the girl who was flirting with him. He had mousy brown hair and wide green eyes. He wasn't short, but he wasn't particularly tall, and he was wearing a bowtie. 

"I don't think so..." Phil mumbled, taking a bigger sip of his drink, then wincing, looking at it skeptically. "Wow - I'd forgotten how strong they make these." 

Dan chuckled at his friend as he continued to take in the patrons of the bar. "Him?" he indicated a man in a long coat wearing a hat who was nursing whiskey in the corner. 

"Definitely not. I don't want to get murdered tonight." Phil said with wide eyes, and Dan chuckled. 

The next twenty minutes passed this way and they both made their ways through three drinks each. Dan was holding his liquor alright - certainly tipsy but still with his wits about him. Phil on the other hand was completely sloshed - he hadn't drank in years and it showed. Now each time a new guy walked into the bar alone and Dan tried to suggest him to Phil, the black haired man wouldn't even look over, just giggling as he stared at Dan, shaking his head 'no'. 

"Phil, you're hopeless!" Dan chuckled after a while with a sigh, downing the last of his fourth drink. Dan had cut Phil off after his third, earning him a whiny pout, but Phil had gotten over it quickly.

"I told you!" Phil giggled. "I'm hopeless! You can't find anyone for me! I'm gonna be alone foreverrrrrrrrrrr!" Phil laughed lightly, contradicting the words he spoke. 

"That's not true." Dan argued, shaking his head and raising his eyebrows as he saw his vision blur at the movement. Maybe he was more drunk than he'd thought. 

"Daaaaannn I wanna dance! Ha! Dan! Dance! Daaaaaannnnnnnce!" Phil giggled and Dan rolled his eyes, allowing himself to be dragged into the back room where lights were flashing and people were dancing. 

"Alright, who do you want to dance with?" Dan asked as Phil kept his grip on his wrist, turning to look at him with wide eyes.

"You, you dummy!" Phil shouted, pulling Dan to the dance floor. Immediately the brunette began to panic - he didn't dance! But moments later Phil had his hands in his own and was stepping awkwardly back and forth between his feet. Dan wasn't even sure if you could call what they were doing dancing, but he joined in, allowing the alcohol to take over as he laughed with Phil, stomping back and forth as they swung their arms together wildly. 

When Phil stepped hard on Dan's toe and Dan yanked his foot back, they somehow ended up toppling to the floor with Dan over Phil. He quickly rolled off and to his back, and both men laughed looking up at the ceiling. 

"If only Spencer saw us now!" Phil shouted, and Dan looked over, his eyes confused. 

"Huh?"

"He thinks you're in love with me! Isn't that silly?" Phil asked, looking over to Dan with wide eyes.

"He's young, he just doesn't understand it." Dan replied after a moment, getting up and helping Phil with him. "I can't hear anything! Let's go back to the bar!" Phil nodded and soon they were collapsing onto one of the couches in the lounge, their ears ringing. 

"You're a bad dancer, Dan." Phil said after several seconds of silence, making Dan erupt into a fit of laughter. 

"Well you're no Derek Hough, either, Phil!" 

Both boys giggled, and then the giggles faded and they just sat there, swaying a bit with their legs pressed together. 

"I miss Spencer." Phil said finally, and Dan looked over. 

"Huh?"

"I miss him! I know that I don't have my own life, but it's okay! I like having him be my life! Being a dad... nothing is better, Dan. I don't wanna be set up with some random guy, because none of them would understand. None of them would love him as much as I do."

"Yeah..." Dan murmured, then took a deep breath, gathering his energy to stand up without falling back over. He managed it, and pulled Phil up with him. "Let's go back, huh?" he suggested, and Phil nodded gratefully.

They caught a cab, and soon they were sitting on the porch outside the house. 

"I don't wanna go in yet." Phil mumbled.

"Yeah."

"I don't want him to see me drunk. Or Emma."

"Yeah."

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Could we maybe go to your place? Come back in the morning when I'm not so drunk?"

"Okay." Dan agreed, his mind hazy. He called another cab, and soon they were on their way to Dan's. 

They tumbled in the front door and Dan turned on a light. 

"How have I never been here before?" Phil marveled, and Dan shrugged.

"I dunno. It's a tiny apartment - I don't have people over ever really."

Phil nodded and soon they were heading to the living room where both men stopped, staring at the one arm chair, coffee table, and TV. 

"You don't have a couch." Phil observed, pointing out the obvious.

"Oh. Yeah, no. I never really needed one I guess." 

"Oh."

"Um... my bed's pretty big. I don't mind sharing." Dan offered, and Phil nodded.

"Alright."

The two men made their way into Dan's bedroom and Phil flopped down on his bed, spreading out like a starfish. 

"Hey! Leave some room for me!" Dan protested with a giggle, shoving Phil to one side before climbing in. Phil got under the covers with him and sighed contentedly. 

"Thanks, Dan."

"Mhm."

"Sorry I didn't want to party much tonight."

"That's alright. I'm not much of a party person myself."

"Okay.... good." Phil murmured and Dan relaxed into his pillow, the blackness refreshing as it made the world stop spinning. 

"Dan?"

"Yeah?"

"Maybe next time I'll find you someone."

Dan laughed at this, shaking his head into his pillow.

"Sure, Phil."

"Okay. It's a plan." Phil agreed decidedly. 

"You're so drunk." Dan giggled, raising his face from his pillow and looking over to Phil.

"No I'm not!" 

"You are! You're a total lightweight."

"Shut up!"

"Alright, you idiot." Dan mumbled fondly, taking a moment to smile over at his friend, face lit up by the moonlight streaming in through Dan's window. "Come here." he added as an afterthought, reaching out and pulling his friend to his chest, hugging him tightly and burying his face in Phil's dark hair. 

"Mmmm you're warm." Phil hummed appreciatively, and Dan rolled his eyes. 

"And you're still drunk."

"Your mum's still drunk!"

"Alright, Phil. Let's get some sleep. We'll go back and see Spence in the morning."

"Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good. Just don't tell him about this." 

"Why not?"

"Because it'll make it even harder to convince him we're not getting married."

Dan blushed at this, not having any idea how to respond. It turned out he didn't need to think of anything, though, as mere seconds later Phil was lightly snoring and Dan sighed, letting his eyelids drift shut, falling asleep as he hugged the man in his arms even closer. 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Dan woke up uncomfortably hot with pangs of pain shooting between his temples. He groaned lowly and blinked his eyes open, widening as he took in his surroundings. 

He was nose to nose with Phil, mere centimeters separating the two, and he had the older man wrapped up in his arms, their legs twined together.

Well, there's the heat explained.

Not just that, but the stench of alcohol was clear on their skin and clothing, and yep. That covers the headache. 

Dan slowly began to extract himself, eyes widening as the sleepy man in his arms pulled him closer with a discontented grumble. 

Dan stiffened and then sighed as he relaxed, realizing that trying to get away was hopeless. Instead he accepted his position, allowing his hands to rest flat on Phil's back as he closed his eyes, letting sleep take back over. 

The next time Dan woke, the bed was empty and he raised his eyebrows in confusion. Sure, he was a heavy sleeper, but he must really be feeling awful to have slept through Phil getting up. 

He pushed himself up into a seated position, rubbing his eyes and wincing at the light before Phil came through the door, precariously carrying two full mugs of coffee and a bottle of pain meds. 

"Oh hey, good morning. Sorry, I hope you don't mind that I made us coffee and raided your medicine cabinet. I figured you might want some of this." Phil whispered, and Dan nodded appreciatively as he reached out, making grabby hands for the ibuprofen. He took it and then a cup of coffee, taking a deep swig along with the pill and smiling as best he could as he realized that Phil had learned to make his coffee exactly how he likes it. 

"Thanks." he grunted, pulling the duvet up to his eyes and curling his arms around his legs protectively.

"No problem. It's still early - we have until eleven before Emma is supposed to leave, so we can take our time, but we will need to get going in a while." Phil informed Dan, who nodded. 

Phil climbed back into the bed and both men sipped their coffee slowly, looking out in front of them. 

Dan's mind was whirling.

Last night Phil had described what he wanted in a partner, and it'd gotten Dan thinking... It was probably ridiculous. No... it was  _definitely_ ridiculous... but what if it wasn't? A tiny voice in the back of his mind was asking him if Spencer really may have been right all along, and his feelings for the black haired man weren't quite as platonic as he'd thought. 

The thing that was stuck in his mind, disallowing him to forget about these invasive thoughts, was the one simple thought that had rung clearly in his mind the night previous.

When Phil had said the real reason he didn't want to date was because no one could ever love Spencer as much as he did - would never care enough.

The one thing Dan had been able to think had been,  _'I do.'_

Those two words were haunting him now, and Dan couldn't help but entertain the prospect briefly. 

Why wasn't he pursuing Phil? Phil was gorgeous and funny and smart - he was a wonderful father and an incredible friend, and even Dan - the biggest loner and hermit known to mankind - would be happy if they were never separated for the rest of their lives.

Not only that, but Phil was Spencer's father. He was Spencer's father, and if something happened between them, couldn't it help make Spencer's childhood better? Sure, a single parent could do a good job, but having another person - not just a friend - but a  _parent_ could make things so much better.

All these thoughts were whirling through Dan's brain as he tried to recover from his hangover, sat on his bed with Phil brushing his side. 

Phil couldn't like him, though. That was certain. Phil had said so much to Spencer, and he made it clear enough the night before with the way he spoke of his romantic prospects. So why was Dan even considering it?

Sighing, Dan set down his mug of coffee and hung his head to rest on his arms and knees, realizing that he'd made a huge mistake.

He'd made a huge mistake, because he'd actually let him for a moment wonder if he liked Phil. And now there was no turning back, because no matter how much he wanted to deny it, the answer was ringing clear throughout his head, and it was a loud, resounding, ' _YES'_.

* * *

After Dan's realization, things went downhill. 

He'd always been an awkward person, but when he liked someone that awkwardness was only magnified. 

Now when Phil offered him a hand to get up Dan would awkwardly mistake it as a requested hug, standing up without Phil's aid, much to the black haired man's confusion, and then pulling him into a clumsy hug, leaving Phil even more baffled. 

When Phil asked Dan if he was ready to go back to Phil's place, instead of replying with a simple and calm, 'yes', Dan's mouth seemed to think it was a better idea to shout the agreement and then backtrack, speaking a mile a minute as he apologized for yelling, trying to explain that he was just excited to see Spencer and he wanted to see the new dance the young boy was learning. 

Phil just cocked an eyebrow, but to Dan's relief, he didn't mention it. 

Now when they were in the car and Phil turned on the radio, Dan found himself actually trying to be  _sexy_ with his car dancing - and lord if that wasn't the most embarrassing thing to realize. 

But ultimately, now when they returned and Spencer asked Dan if  _now_ they were getting married in a whisper that sent Phil's head twisting around to look at Dan and smile, the brunette couldn't keep the blush from turning his face bright red as he stammered a broken response about how Phil certainly wouldn't want to marry a guy like him.

At this, Phil made an  _'Aw, don't be so hard on yourself, you know that's not true.'_ face over Spencer's head at Dan, and that only intensified his blush. 

When Spencer promised that Phil did like him like that - swearing that Phil was his papa and he knew his papa really well, Dan actually let out a breathy laugh of embarrassment. When he looked up, he was surprised to see the beginnings of a flush creeping up Phil's neck, too, and he quickly averted his gaze back to the young boy in front of him. Spencer had looked up at him with wide, sincere eyes, and Dan's throat had caught - unable to lie to this boy. Instead, he chose to take a leap and leaned down, cupping a hand over his mouth as he whispered a true whisper in Spencer's ear, quiet so Phil wouldn't be able to make it out. 

"Your papa doesn't like me that way... but you were right before. I think I do like him." As Dan pulled away he felt fear strike through him - panicking at his decision to confide such a huge secret in the young child, but Spencer only nodding knowingly. After a moment of thought, the young boy left the room, leaving Dan and Phil alone. 

For whatever reason, the air suddenly had become tense, and neither man was making eye contact with the other. Dan coughed awkwardly as Spencer returned, carrying a piece of paper and a few colored pencils. He leaned in close to Dan's ear, and Dan was surprised as the young boy's whisper actually came out quiet - he must have taken the cue from Dan earlier. 

"Write a letter to him to tell him how you feel! I promise you - he likes you back. He's just too scared to say it." Spencer promised, pushing the art supplies towards Dan. 

The brown haired man's eyes went wide, but when Spencer looked at him and then the paper pointedly, he picked up a brown pencil and began to write on one side of the folded paper. Spencer took other pencils and began to draw on the other side, drawing two stick figures holding hands with a smaller stick figure standing in front of them. Dan smiled as he composed his note, having to press hard because the brown pencil didn't show up too well on the reddish pink construction paper. 

 

_Dear Phil,_

_I've been coerced into writing you a love letter._ _Kids these days._

_Anyways, I don't really know what to write._ _Spence seems determined to get us together._

_It's kind of cute to be honest._ _Wait, he can't read yet, right?_

_He hasn't said anything, so I'm guessing not._

_Anyways, thanks for going out last night. It was actually really fun._

_I'm sorry I was such a shitty wingman._

_You know what? He's not done drawing so I should keep writing so..._

_I suppose I might as well do what he wants and tell you how much you mean to me._

_You've turned my life around this past month, and getting to get close to you and Spencer_

_has been the best experience of my life._

_I really do love you... just maybe not in the way that Spence thinks._

_Though let's be honest, we'd make an adorable family._

_Do you think we'll ever tell him that I'm his biological father? It still feels so surreal..._

_God damn this kid puts a lot of time into his artwork._

_Phil, I... I know you said the other day that you could never find someone who could_

_ever care about Spencer as much as you do... no one would ever put him first..._

_I just wanted to say I don't think that's true. I think you'll find someone someday,_

_and you'll get your happily ever after. I hope so, at least. You really do deserve it._

_I wish I could be that person, like Spencer wants me to be. But I know we're just friends._

_It's still kind of cute to see how much he thinks of us as a family, though._

_Oh, alright. He's done drawing, time to wrap this up._

_I really do love you, Phil. Thanks for everything._

_< 3 Dan_

 

Spencer scanned the note, and Dan sighed in relief when the only thing the boy seemed to pick out was the heart at the end, nodding in approval. Dan smiled and got up to give Phil the letter - who'd been sitting on his phone this whole time, and Spencer got up with him.

"I'm gonna go do some homework! I'll see you later!" the boy yelped, bounding out of the room.

The little rascal.

"Well uh... Phil. Spence made me write you this so um... here you go." Dan mumbled, shoving the folded up paper towards Phil and sitting back to watch the man read it over. 

At first the man's expression was warm, smiling at the paper. A few moments in, though, his gaze turned more thoughtful - contemplative, and Dan began to bop his leg nervously. 

When Phil finally put down the piece of paper, he looked up at Dan with a strange expression in his eyes. He looked confused - questioning, as if he were trying to find some lost secret in the depths of Dan's pupils. 

Finally Phil spoke, not looking away from Dan's gaze. 

"Dan... you really do want to be a part of this family, don't you?" he asked, and Dan nodded instinctively.

"Of course!" 

"I... I was telling the truth last night. When I said I could never date someone, because no one who I'd date would ever care about Spencer enough."

"Yeah." Dan mumbled, looking down at his feet. 

"Because when you have a kid you can't really date. It's all in or all out." Phil continued, and Dan looked up in confusion as Phil stood up, walking carefully towards the brunette. "But if I found someone who was willing to commit... to be in a real relationship who cared for Spencer as much as I do..." Phil trailed off here and Dan gulped, looking up at the man who now stood just a foot away. Taking a deep breath, Dan decided to take a leap and reached out, cupping Phil's hands with his own and holding them between the two men. 

"Yeah?" he breathed, and he watched as Phil blinked hard, observing Dan's features and then looking down at their hands, lacing their fingers together. 

"Then..." Phil whispered, but he never finished his sentence. Instead he lightly pulled Dan to his feet and wrapped his arms around the brunette's waist, Dan's hands coming up around Phil's neck. "Are you sure you're ready for this?" Phil whispered, his gaze darting between Dan's eyes. "Because I'm serious. All in or all out."

"I'm all in." Dan whispered, and that was all it took for Phil to tilt forward and connect their lips softly, gently massaging Dan's hips with his fingers. 

It was sweet - soft and gentle, and when Phil pulled away both men were smiling sleepily. Dan felt as if he was in a daze - though that daze was broken only a moment later by a young boy jumping out and screeching in an excited high pitched shout;

"I TOLD YOU SO!!!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I need your guys' opinion on something. I have an idea for the next fic and it will involve phanfictions. Would you prefer for me to just make up general plot lines, or would you like me to actually directly reference other fics I've written? I feel like referencing my own fics would allow them to be more detailed and it could be fun, but it also feels a bit self-indulgent, so I wanted to see what you all think.
> 
> Thank you! <3


End file.
